December 10, 2011

I'm Broke but I'm Happy

Dear Tom Selleck . . .

I know that sounds like a cheesy lyrical title, but I always 'got' that song.  At least I thought I did.  Now I really 'get' it.  Because whatever lies beyond broke, is where I am financially.  But whatever lies way beyond happy, is where I am in life.  I am SO fucking happy!  And broke.

I've always been a dichotomy within myself.  I'm a Libra, what do you expect?  I'm a chaotic genius, if you will.  And a little full of myself at times too.  But at least I'm charming.  And I have great hair.

Aaannnddd . . . I'm broke.  So remember how I now ask for what I want every day?  And get it!?  Well let me give you some examples:

  • I was stressing over having enough money to get dog food (times are tough, Tom) and was later making a grocery list while Jackie B was here when she said, "Oh, I have a bag you can have."  Um, Jackie B hates animals.  Hate is a strong word.  She'll have none of that in her home.  But she had a bag of dog food?!  Well played Whomever is Out There.
  • Later that same day, I accidentally went on a date with my elderly neighbor whose son I've been friends with since high school.  I wish that were not a true story.  But it is.  To excuse myself in a ladylike way when I was asked in for a night cap, I informed him I had to run to the store for cat food.  And that was NOT a lie.  But he - Mr. I Hate Cats - had a bag of cat food!  So I took it and said thanks and made Jackie B come dig me out of the grave I had dug for myself.  Accidentally.  Close call Whomever's Got My Back.
  • Lately I've been into my wall calendar at my Magic Cottage.  Not sure why, but I am.  As I was writing on it the other day, I got really bummed out that there were only a few weeks left of my calendar.  Not of the year mind you - I'm over 2011 in a big way.  Bring on 2012!  I was sad that in a few weeks I'd have no wall calendar because my broke ass can't afford to even buy a new calendar.  (I told you times are tough Tom, real tough)  I contemplated making a calendar for a brief moment, then quickly decided that would take way too much effort and sounds crafty.  Which I am not.  So then I began thinking how much I'd have to babysit to earn the money to buy a calendar.  Why yes, I am babysitting.  A buck's a buck.  And I am seriously back to square fucking one in life again.  But I love it here!  I needed this and I welcome this.  I am grateful for it.  Truly fucking grateful.  But real fucking broke too.  So I pulled myself away from my beautiful wall calendar and walked around my Magic Cottage being truly grateful for what I have.  And then I came to my daughter's room and I got extra grateful for having her in my life and having her home and healthy.  And then I got excited for whatever the next chapter is in our lives.  And then I looked over, and there was a calendar!  A 20 fucking 12 calendar she had brought home from school for me.  Jackpot!  Thank you Dad.  Thank you God.  Thank you Universe.  And then . . . the next day . . . I was at a local retail establishment and the cashier put TWO 2012 calendars in my bag!  Free of charge!  Thank you Sir, may I have another?!

true story.

Edie B. Kuhl


  1. Isn't it almost frighteningly fantastic how things work out? I'm glad you're happy, if lacking in the dolla dolla bills department. I'm so very much there myself right now, and as exhausting and stressful as it is, I wouldn't trade it for anything (well, except maybe a fenced in yard...).

  2. bring on 2012, for reals. i hope i get some of your joy! and that you keep getting what you need!!

  3. ink p - Ask for the fenced yard and ye shall receive. It just may take a while. ;)

    drunk bride - Ask for joy and ye shall receive joy. ;)

    Em - You stole my line.


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