How was your day? Mine was awefuckingtastic! And I mean it. It's not just the 4 shots of espresso talking. I'll give you the run-down and you can see for yourself.
- First, I slept until 10:23 am.
- Then, I read and responded to an email from the sailor.
- Work asked if I could come in. I really love my job and I just had to put some money into my hooptie yesterday, but I love my Saturdays off. Hhhmmm . . .
- Mary started to suffocate me with her presence. (You'll have that from time to time.)
- I told work I'd be right in, but would need off by 7pm, because I had to be at a Girl Scout slumber party by 9pm, and didn't want to show up smelling like beer. I'm pretty sure they thought I was full of shit, but were desperate and went with it.
- I got to go to work at the greatest job in the world and meet some of the coolest people in the world! Like this couple . . . They're 85 years old. High school sweethearts. She has Alzheimer's. They were the sweetest, most amazing people. Both of them. At one point, he took me to the side to tell me about his wife's "condition". As he spoke, I teared up and said, "now that is true love". And do you know what this sweet little old man said to me? "You want to know what love is, honey? All love is, is a tickling sensation around your asshole."
- Two guys tipped me $20.
- And then . . . I got to race home (since my hooptie is fixed!), take a hot shower, don some jeans that my ass is looking great in these days, meet a friend for coffee, and go to a Girl Scout slumber party! No shit! I was their rockstar tonight! They even fed me Subway and made me a kick-ass pie! A whole pie, Tom! Just for me! I am the luckiest girl in the world.
- After all of that, I saw a shooting star! Dude.
Edie B. Kuhl