January 1, 2013

(Pub)lic Relations

Dear Tom Selleck . . .

Shit just got real.  Well, more real anyway.  Funny how that happens when one year transitions into another.  While yesterday was just any other day (1/2 price pint night, like any other Monday at the pub) for me, I joined the majority of the world in reflection of 2012 and in anticipation of what 2013 will bring.

It's been a big year, Tom.  Really big for me.  I lost a few things:  my jeep, my granny, my right ovary, a sailor, and 55 pounds.  I gained a lot of things:  a job, a new jeep, gratitude, direction, purpose, and perspective.  I like the view from here.

As you may recall, I don't make resolutions - I write mission statements.  This year, while I'm working out my mission statement kinks, I'm also trying to set my own salary.  I need to write myself a check I can cash someday.  The problem is the amount.  I'm stuck somewhere between $37,000 and $3.7 billion.

Got any suggestions, Tom?  What is the going rate for celebrities these days?  I'm not 100% sure how I'm going to get famous, but I'm definitely sure I will be.  Soon.  I feel it every time I sign my name.  Like when I sign for my 4-figure (including the cents) paychecks from the pub.  I tell them all I'll be famous someday, to hang onto that signature.  Oddly, I think they believe me.

I also tell them you're coming to visit.  But that, they don't believe.  Fools.  See you around the pub, Tom.  Soon.

true story.

Edie B. Kuhl

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